1- It is almost impossible to get an appointment. Everyone is fully booked weeks before hand. What am i supposed to do hire a fotrune teller to tell me when i am going to be invited this upcoming year?
2- If IF you are lucky enough to get an appointment… it is always in a bad time. Like 12 pm or 3 pm and the bloody party starts after 8!
3- There is always someone in your chair at your appointment time getting the “last” touches done. She looks in the mirror and says “no do this a little lighter” or “no this is a little heavier” or “la la mo 7elo redo this” etc. etc. … WILL YOU JUST LEAVE ALREADY!
4- After the clock ticks away and you are almost ready to murder the lady before you… she gets up and it’s your turn. You settle in her place and the chair is all hot after her and you do not feel happy or comfortable at all and you are already late for your hair appointment.
5- You produce a printed picture of what you want to be done exactly (the picture above for example) and the makeup lady always scrunches her face and thinks for a while, disapprovingly! Mind you i am always more of a Paris Hilton makeup person than a Haifa Wahbi makeup person so there is not much to it. Pretty ABC of makeup! Why are they always confused is beyond me?
6- The makeup lady would always ALWAYS start with the sentence “your skin is very dry”… even though you are following a strict dermatologist regime for your face… have had a facial the day before and made especially sure to have a rejuvenating mask on just before you came just so you do not hear that sentence. My skin is NOT very dry lady… it is NOT remotely dry… i will shut up now.
7- Now comes the actual makeup application. God knows how many times have that brush touched some one elses. Did the lady before me have facial fungus? Maybe she did? Will i get infected? Maybe i will… the makeup lady is not a dermatologist… she doesn’t know now does she? How hygenics are those utensils? What about the expiry dates of the products? I know it’s the paranoia talking but still it is NOT a happy experience!
8- It takes for EVER to apply that simple thing you wanted. A cold liquid here… a sponge there… layer upon layer upon layer of things applied on your eyes… you resist the urge to open up mid application and look in the mirror to see what’s happening… poking and prodding at your face and you try to estimate when she will be done… why is she applying so much? Why can’t they be done in 5 minutes? After all the women they put makeup for you would think they have developed a speedy technique or something… GET IT OVER WITH WILL YOU?
9- You look in the mirror and feel like crying. This thing staring back at you is not you. The mask you have on is itching and you feel like you are in someone else’s skin. Especially when the makeup lady ends the session by saying “the picture you showed me didn’t have much makeup on and i thought you needed heavier makeup…” Wallah? you thought what? WHAT? Whose face is it? mine or yours? Too late to do anything about it now… they always tend to over do it anyways… URRRGH!
10- Now comes the most fun part… REMOVING THE GUNK! You wash and wipe and cleanse and wipe and wipe and empty half the soap in the bathroom and half of your makeup remover… you stroke each bloody lash alone and rub to remove the makeup. and you would still wakeup with panda eyes. URRRRGH!
Can’t we go back to the way it was before? When ppl applied bad makeup at home yet still had fun and no one gave them a second glance? No? Then please recommend a good makeup course… or i will boycott all parties and weddings !!!