What i really really want…

Stupid work presentaion… me looking into the screen so hard, my eyes get blurry and i start to day dream…

My day dream was about my future… what i needed  from life now that i have a few years left in my youthful 20’s and about to embark into my middle aged 30’s… insha2 allah itha allah 3a6ana 3omor o se7a o 3afya…

So what else?

I tell my self, school days are over. No more exams or studying or putting up with teachers and professors. No more finals, I have finished school, drove, reached the legal age of 21, fell in love, gotten married, found a job, worked, there are no more restrictions, no more boundaries. Now im at the stage where i have all the assets in my hand, and i need to take charge of my life, type in the coordinations of Daddy’s Girls GPS, and then follow…

What is left for me?

I’ll tell you what i want ,what i really really want?

I want to be able to save abit. Then buy with Bu Tootee a little piece of land, nothing much, 250 meters would be fine for my requirements. Given that there are lands with less than rocket level prices…

I would then build the most beuatiful tiny house on it, white, steel, floor to ceiling wide windows to let the light (and heat) in, one small cosey living room, one nice modern kitchen with french doors over looking the nice green garden surrounded by trees. I hate big houses. I do not want a maid who will be a stranger in my sanctuary. It would be my little nest. Nothing fancy, nothing crowded. Clean, modern, steel, and white… all i want.

Is that so much to ask?!

I need a little table with chairs, and a little balcony overlooking my little garden laced with lanterns, on the edge of the garden i want to plant some little veggies. I am a firm believer that we could plant things in our soil, my husband’s house had mangoes and watermelon growing in their garden while growing up!!! So yeah, i also want a little flower bed that i can tend to, a small Bar BQ grill in the corner for those lovely fall days, i want to be able to sit and relax and smell the freshly cut grass wafting to my relaxed nostrils…

I want to be able to live comfortably in my own country. I want no worries, no problems, no distraught people hiding their shock and despair behind their over inflated egos and materialistic shallowness. I want to be able to wake up in the morning to read happy stories in the news. We made scientific discoveries, our football team won by a landslide, our TV is showing our old cherished tv shows and new more important earth breaking   innovative ones, not scandalous shows painting our community as pimps and sluts and magicians, i need happiness every where…

I want to be able to relax when i go out of my home, feel safe when i drive my car anywhere, not say a million prayers and have my eyes jerk in fear over every crazy screeching car or rambo wanna be pedestrians who jumps infornt of u in the middle of 5th ring road… i want that fast and the furious rally to stop and for people to take a breath…

I want to be able to walk in peace in a mall, pick up some nice and quality ingredients for lunch in peace. I want to be able to realx and not feel like ugly betty walking into mode when im simply going out to buy something and meet everyone’s stare trying to disect me into gossip material.

I want to be able to walk into a bookstore, a real one. Where all the books are available for me. I would be able to use the thing residing under my skull, what is it called? it’s been rusty from lack of usage, yeah my brain… i want to be able to actually CHOOSE what i feel like reading, what i think is CORRECT for ME to choose, with my own FREE WILL… not settle for some stupid lame titles pre-chosen for me to read by some committe! I would like to sit quietly and flip through the books while sipping some newly brewed coffee…

I want to be able to walk into a movie, sit comfortably without being harassed by herds of children screaming, teenagers acting up, and old people thinking they are at home eating seeds and drinking tea. I want to be able to watch a movie and judge it my self, closing my eyes or even storming out if i do not like what i see, but still keep other peoples free will to watch it…

I would like to live in the knowledge that, if anything god forbids happens to me, that if i need medical care, i would be able to have something DECENT. People are dying all around or getting strokes because of flu shots. People are being cut open and rummaged through like drawers under the name of surgery… i cannot trust my self with any Dr. out there… even the most expensive and well paid (by us) ones…

I want to be able to assure my self, that if i want to celebrate any day in the year, i would be able to do so without harrasment, without mere people making a fuss about it in the news and the streets and threats every where about how that thing im doing is damaging to me or to my surroundings.

I want to be able to attend a nice musical recital, a lovely ballet show, a nice folklore evening, without a million voice screaming that im violating their morals and traditions…

I want to ensure that, if i have children, that they can get the best education on earth, to prepare them for the world out there and its challenges. something that seems impossible in here…

I want to be able to live in peace… this is what i want… what i really really REALLY want…

Is that too much to ask?!

Apparently, world peace seems to be an easier dream…

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5 responses to this post.

  1. wow…
    i really liked the house part, you see…most ppl struggle to get big houses like 1000 meter square and they complain to the gouvernment about the 300-400 MS houses…. 9ej el8ana3a kanz la yafna

    but don’t blame the Drs. we have , walla most and i mean it MOST! of them are really really great and experienced, but the NO CHANCES and LOW WAGES really makes them bad

    but over all, really good article, well done

    Reply

  2. i totally agree with the book shops, I mean a huge mall like the avenues only has a tiny bookshop filled with nothing ???
    BTW love the “future” house<– inshala u get it

    Reply

  3. Posted by post on January 27, 2009 at 11:00 PM

    heey i just wanted to ask.. sh9ar 3ala beauty and the beast story? u never wrote the ending.. o 7adi kint imtab3at.ha ;(

    Reply

  4. Posted by Whteva on February 2, 2009 at 12:30 PM

    So true ! i second your wants on the book store, lunch, not have people stare at you like ur ugly betty, about celebrating any day of the year, about music recitals and the movies!! :\

    Reply

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