After my worst Lunch Experience ever? No more Mojamalat for me… Ever AGAIN!

I recall incidents when i was teenager, there was a very rude friend of my moms who was very fond of an ugly silk shirt striped with cream, purple, and gold… i remember she was acting as rude as ever, o mom ga3da itjamelha, i was boiling, so i smile at her and ask her “khalty? Qameesich im7asletah d3aya min Cadbury?!”

Boy was my mother Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad… poor mom i had always driven her crazy.

and another time, when that women friend of mom had met me for the first time, & within the first five minutes she started complaining about her son who is my age with THREE KIDS and is playing play station all the time and ignoring his family -i can see why-, then she turned to me to grill me about not having children. I recall how i snapped at her *very rationaly and nicely* with mom making faces at me meaning stop it stop it STOP IT NOW… why doesnt she defend me and my choices and tell her friend to MIND HER BUSINESS instead of telling me to STOP IT.. wella oboy ma yegdar ila 3la ommy?!?!?!?

Needless to say im banned from talking to that woman again. Something im not at all sad about. Good Riddance. I do not know where does mom find these people.

You see, i have dropped the word “Mojamala” from my dictionary.

Looong loong ago.

Im sorry but when you dress up in an ugly dress that looks like a car tire and makes you look like a susage, i cannot bring my self to grin stupidly in your face and say “ish7alaataaaah” … i cannot lie to my self or to you for that matter…

The most i can offer is if you ask “how i look” … i would use the words “niceeeeeee” bs!!! Do not EXPECT anything else from me…

Note that every time i use the word nice i mean it in a bad way y3ni…

Some people live for mojamalat and niceties. Sometimes it’s bearable, most of the time it is a mere type of Social Hypocrycy… nothing more, nothing less. 

You see the problem in our society is, all of us is living in a parallel universe of fantasy plus make belief niceties… none of us is able to confront reality. all because of those mojamalat coupled with the word 3eeb. Why?! Who said so? if an old woman who dresses like a 10 year old was told she looked out of her place, she might consider dressing more appropriately… instead of being complemented on looking like a fool! If a woman who was constatnly voicing her wisdom onto the life of others when it was not called for or asked for and was quite rude about it… then someone told her quietly its none of your business or at least discussed it with her… she might seize!!! Discussion is a magical word that should replace Mojamal, confrontation works too…

o the worst kind of mojamal?

When u are being invited into lunch in a house of someone. and you simply do not want to go. But you are forced into going.

You see, im very picky about what i eat. Like a fussy 8 years old.

I am a vegeterian. I eat veggies and salads and diet pepsi and the occasional pot of pasta and pizza from time to time. I do not eat mechabees, or la7am, or ma7ashee, or even harees and yereesh. Not only do i not eat them, i cannot stand the SMELL of them. and if someone in a restuarant orders fish… i can smell it a mile away and i try to scramble out of there. I do not visit my parents on fish cooking days cause i almost retch when i smell the odor of fish. and When i see il 7ashoo of the machboos, my stomach does a somesault.

So when im forcefully invited to someones house for lunch. I cannot stand the smell of food in the table. I cannot stand the acute lack of spice understanding in Q8y cooking where everything is treated like a machboos and pasta must be cooked until it is a mush fit resemblibg baby food. Pleople u dont know how to cook “Ma3karooonyyyaaaa” fa plz stop it!!! Plus, some people just do not understand that you are picky. they think you are Daloo3a… perioud. They are used to forcing themselves and their Chidlren to do things against their will they do not realize others cannot confirm to their standards. No matter how many times you resist, there is always so many inconsiderate people out there.

O il 3asara malty is doubled when im fasting. I simply cannot be out of my house when i am fasting. I can barely stand the smell of tashreeba in our own house. I have to pray 3la ra7tee… wear sweats, eattttt 3la ra7tee.. then slouch on the coach o watch the program i want. I do not know how to eat or how to act in other people’s houses at fo6oor.

 

So no, when im invited to someones house for lunch. I decline. Nicely. and ALWAYS. Even if it is my own grandmothers house.

 

If im invited for tea? No problem.

If im invited OUTSIDE the house? Ham no problem.

Let me tell you about the worst experience in my life.

There is this certain relative, she wanted to invite me and Bu Tootee for lunch. I do not know the woman, and i declined. Sensing i was an obstacle in the direction of the 3azeema, she turned on Bu Toote and he finally cracked! So, he made a promise to go. I was furious with him. He said it’s ok he already told the woman im a vegeterian and i don’t eat and she was fine with it, she said she will take it into consideration…

and he also said that, out of guilt, he will bring with us a huge platter filled with my favourite sandwiches… from the danish bakery (now only the bakery)… i just love their selection of sandwiches. If i am angry and you want to make me happy, bring me a tray of their sandwiches and i will be as happy as a bird again.

Anyways, we went that day, the danish bakery’s platter in tow so i could eat it in case nothing suited my taste. I had a stone in my stomach. Now the lunch time.

the woman takes us PAST the dining room into “surprise surprise” their kitchen!!!! Now there are many people who eat their lunch in their kitchen, i am not one of them, cause i hate the smell of aluminum kitchen with gas cookers and maids making machboosat there all the time with a jar of 6ershee (pickles) lurking. I just cannot enter a kitchen like that. I MOVED from the first apartment i lived in because of the aluminum kitchen. I do not ENTER the kitchen in my parents house, although my mom being a dr. has mistaken our kitchen to be a surgical operation room with hospital smelling detergants washing the kitchen twice daily.

So we sit down in the Aluminum kitchen, although they have a very nice wooden dining table out there, i guess we were not special enough. and they bring out the lunch.

Machboos. with 7ashoo. Lots of 7ashoo mixed with the rice. and the Chicken on top. Its grease seeping into the rice making it taste like.. well… chiken fat.

and a salad. Khyar, khas, 6ma6 tossed together with olive oil, salt and lemon.

BS

So much for reminding the woman im a vegeterian.

and guess what?

The woman has been on a special dr. ordered diet for some ilness she has, so she had an especially made lunch with her… some sort of sauteed vegtebales with chiken breasts. No salt nor oil neither nothing…

and to top the lunch off… she put my platter of sandwiches right next to her, out of both my and my husbands reach, unopened.

Now i stare at my plate, no i cant, if i eat the rice i will return it mixed HCL on the table right then and there, i cannot stand the smell or taste of chicken. if i eat that salad malat il 80’s… well i can only eat like 3 spoons of it… and thats what i did… put three spoons of it and play with my fork…

and the woman goes “haw leesh ma takleeen”

Bu toote: remember when i told you? she is a vegeterian?!

the Woman: Y3ni ma takel edaam?

*GOD WOMAN… when he told you ams ini vegeterian, what part of MA TAKEL LA7AM didn’t you get! You are young in your early 40’s so don’t play dumb OK*

Me: It’s ok im eating salad..

Woman: Eat the rice then!?

Me decline nicely, almost stabbing bu tootee with the fork.

Woman after a while: a7e6 lich 3eesh o dyay?1

* YOUBA MA ABIIII MA AKEL TEFHEMEEEEEN WELLA LAAAAA MA ABIIIIII MA ABIIIII YOUR KITCHEN SMELLLS I WANT TO GO HOMEEE MA ABIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII *

I smile politely and decline.

then she, seemingly indignant about my resufal, decides that her patience with me had run out. So she says sarcastically “oh well you know… since you only eat vegetables, here are the leftovers from my vege sautee “a spoonfull of carrots” do you want them?!”

Another thing i cannot stand, eating off someone elses plate of food.

I decline politely saying im fine.

So she grabs my plate from infront of me, put the remaining overcooked carrots there, and gives it back.

Woman: Yalla Eat it!

i felt like crying. I felt like throwing the plate against the wall *i break stuff when im angry and i throw stuff* i felt like strangling Bu Tootee and the woman. I felt like doing many stuff… but declined. My fathers stern voice rining in my head “When u are offered food in someones place, even if you do not like it, naqneqay feeh then leave it. Do not decline. Daddy’s Girl DO NOT DECLINE and SAY NO… ya baba 3eeb. Ma yseer … ”

every one is looking at me, expecting me to clap my hands in joy and eat it… i had forced my self to eat the carrots, almost choking back tears, with the woman watching me.

When i was done and she was happy at my humilation, she decided i deserve a reward…

Woman: do you want a sandwich from the ones you brought?!

Yeah now i deserve a sandwich haaaa?

Fa bu toote pipes up… Yeah plz plz she loves them…

The woman tetkaram ib opening the wrapping paper just a bit, takes out the worst looking sandwich there, i think she did it on purpose to punish me for declining her lunch invitation for so long. Or maybe she just doesnt like me much, many people do not like me much, and places it on my now carrot free plate.

It is an Eggplant and something else sandwich… or something equally similar in nature. Something i cannot stand to eat. Who put it there?!!! I specifically ordered cheese and falafel and labnah sandwiches…

I glare at bu tootee, he must have put it there according to his mood.

and im expected to eat it.

and im not given any choice. What if i wanted a cheese one?

Too late, the woman closed the paper covers and returend her hands to her plate. Signaling that it was generous enough of her to offer ONLY ME on the table ONE sandwich that i had no choice in.

Human Rights Organization should have been called in that day to intervene.

and from that day on, i took an oath, no eating in 3azayem lunch, and if i MUST go, i go with a plate of sandwiches that i will HOLD ON TO until im sitting at the table.

End of Story.

Ya3jeb il 3mam il Q8yeen ya3jebhom.

Ma ya3jebhom keefhom. Ana wa7da 3asra, la7ad ya3zimni 3la beethom.

Ma ra7 ajamel a7ad anymore. Kilmat NICEEEEE is all they are extracting from me.

Reality check people!

P.S. These rules do not apply to certain houses, my late grandmas cooking was exceptional and she never forced me to eat because i nearly licked the plates she made allah yer7amha. Lama’s house food is just the best. I love any thing “vegeterian” or sweets they cook, especially that yummy nacho salad and those little saj parcels filled with falafel mix and wrapped with little green onion leaves! or those Basboosa cups? Besides, my friends know how 3asra i am and are always considerate. AWS is even more picky than me and doesn’t eat.

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16 responses to this post.

  1. Damn you are 3asra! And I thought I was bad.. I don’t eat seafood nor machboos la7am nor tashreeb la7am.. and can’t eat other peoples cooking apart from my moms and aunt… and yes I’m always told I’m a daloo3a and spoiled to the spine even though I’m pushing on 30 but still they believe I’m being a baby!

    To hell with ppl, only what I like will go down to my stomach!! Ok I think I’m ranting here :/

    p.s. more beauty and beast ASAP!

    Reply

  2. i am EXACTLY the same! god, that woman is RUDE. a9lan 3aib itkhaleekum takloon bil ma6bakh! ana itha ri7t bait a7ad ma3arif akil ayshay. 7atan birmuthan lama iy6arshoon niq9a makil akilhum! itloo3 chabdi, i can’t eat their food! ghair baitna, i only eat 6ubakh my grans, aunts, uncles and close friends. SOMETIMES itha shay imshawigni athoog shway bas it won’t be a “meal” li2ina 9ij itloo3 chabdi o obooy kila iygool ini di3la li2ina i always decline when someone offers me tea/7ilo or whatever!

    Reply

  3. OMG !
    I felt ur frustration coming outta the blog lines !
    Even though i’m not a vegeterian but quite picky with my food , and usually my fuse goes short if i’m hungry !
    Thakarteeni eb rm’6an , since my oldest brother doesn’t eat chicken and my other brother can’t eat sea food our menu for that month only included meat ! everyday ! i wud through a lousy fit since I only eat meat once a week and it should be in a specific way ! Not to mention , i don’t eat harees , yreesh nor tashreeb ! it was a living hell !
    And i agree with the part no mojamalat and no 3azayem at home , cuz i accepted some of my friend’s invitations at home and their food SUCKS ! now if i ever had to accept i always make 2 dishes to pick up along the way !

    Reply

  4. Posted by Lama on November 12, 2008 at 6:02 PM

    Well after reading your post I don’t think I’ll be able to eat Machbous Deyay or for that matter look at one. eeeew 😦
    “asteghfer Allah”.

    to tell you the truth I too I prefer anything on Kuwaiti dishes,
    I’m somehow picky, but the difference btw me & u is that I never say no. and I always regret it. 😦

    thank you for making an exception for our cooking 🙂 that’s an honor.

    but could we know why this lady invited you in the first place?!

    Reply

  5. Posted by aws on November 13, 2008 at 1:36 AM

    u write with passion…
    and when you disqualify something, you completely shoot it down…
    anger makes us oblivious to the most obvious cure to all our problems…
    if u feel like having sandwiches, simply offer sandwiches…
    offer bo totti some rice , then offer the lady salad, then get up, pick up the sandwiches, offer the lady some, offer bo totti some, and you have the plate all for yourself…

    that’s the trick to eat from a plate.. serve it first, after everyone gets some, you have all the right to get some of it too !

    don’t wait to be served… start serving !

    though i feel thankful you had to put up with us non vegeterians during bbq.. offering us something you very much dislike… we’d put you through so much !

    it’s our emotional barriers that keeps us from eating… and it takes real hunger to lift those barriers…
    when i see a piece of chocolate, i literally feel a pimple on my skin… but once i disregard that, it becomes easy to eat…
    same goes for butter, oil, dairy.. guilt guilt guilt

    negative marketing is like the campaigns they have against smoking…

    i have encountered many situations which did wonders in terms of negative marketing some foods…
    this causes constipation,
    this causes bloating,
    this causes breakouts,
    this makes me sleepy,
    this will entangle my intenstines…

    and at the end of the day , el ma3ida beit el daa2 …

    food scares me like no other…
    and because i don’t know much about it, i don’t know my enemy… i get mixed up … after all, good things taste bad and bad things taste good .. so you can’t rely on your taste buds to find your way …

    and u sit there, looking at food, wondring if it’s gonna disturb your sleep or are you going to survive this meal into the next one ..

    that’s what i meant by emotional barriers… fear ..

    anger, fear, guilt … i’m not sure which one leads to the other, but all both are present, we have passion ..

    sorry to have adrenalin rush through your system rather than food that day… but the solution was right there on the table… all u needed to do was offer her a piece of sandwich (after you offer her own dishes) …

    or be smart ! eat some on your way to her house so when you get there you won’t rely so much on her for your basic needs… driving u bitter …

    accept a lunch 3azeema, but eat lunch before hand !

    sadly not the same thing can be said about fotoor…

    i usually sleep til fotoor , then pray then go eat maybe 15-20 minute after ma’3reb… this is my system .. and will not allow anyone to mess up my system..

    meanwhile, think of mojamalat as a way to instill self confidence in people and prevent them from getting hurt..
    if i didn’t like someone’s outfit (and it happens to me every so often) i simply ignore it, because they like it for a REASON !
    find out what the reason is…

    work on the reason and it will show on the looks …
    i love comfy shoes (which my friend refers to as mostly worn by 3ayayiz) .. and my sister keeps saying: mooo 7ilweeeen

    but i refuse to cause my foot permanent deformation just to please others about my shoes… which look neat and are so comfortable u can walk with them endlessly…

    it’s just a matter of perspective.. and priorities…

    by looking at the garment only, we are stripping the element out of context..

    maybe she had put u in the kitchen because she considered you to be her daughter, she actually allowed u into her personal zone !

    Reply

  6. don’t worry, ‘i like you much’
    lool@ Human rights org.
    i can believe she covered the sandwiches, i mean its common sense to display guest’s dishes and keep them open!

    allah shawageeni 3ala labna sandwiches.. i know how to make my own labna, its easy and yummy 🙂

    oh and i could do w/ Lama‘s nacho salad!

    Reply

  7. haw kil wa7id kaifeh shinu yakil?? laish biroo7 fi ba6inhum huma willa ba6nich intay?

    mub intay il 3asra – ihya il 3asra

    LONG LIVE PERSONAL CHOICE

    Reply

  8. *note to self*
    do not invite daddys girl for lunch :p

    Reply

  9. Posted by Daddy's Girl on November 14, 2008 at 3:25 AM

    Wain ra7 my comment mal yesterday?!

    Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah !!!!

    Ok i will recomment again 😦 I hate when this happens…

    Reply

  10. Posted by Daddy's Girl on November 14, 2008 at 3:34 AM

    Fourme

    Ya takleen 3la keefhom ya ma ta3jebeen a7ad… 😦

    Dandoon

    I would be happy to eat two things from other peoples ramadan noqsas “yummy sweets” and/or mini mo3ajanat .. anything else that has spicing in it or cooked on a stove is out…. no way!

    Zabo0o6a

    you see… ilee ad3al mini ana khawatee o okhooy…
    Fa ommy maskeena after years of struggles has a different lunch made for each of us.
    Home delivery is a VERY POPULAR option for us too…

    Lama

    La walla sej i really like ur house food. It is sooo neat masha2 allah 😀

    Well she invited me BECAUSE i was a new bride and she wanted to check me out. Wayed 3leeha…

    AWS

    Oh sweety. Ya rait kil il awadem mithclich 😀

    Now tell me, how can i, when i go for the first time to a strangers house for lunch, sit at a table with her sons, and i am a shy person, how on earth can i go and offer food? or move about or pick up the plates?

    Not in a million years.

    But i want to have a pallete reprogramming with you… sort of ratatoulie project? Whatcha think?

    What was that you thought was good for you once but it turned to be bad?!

    Atoona

    Ooh thanx honey :*

    Guess what i had today for fu6oor? Danish Bakery’s Labna Sandwich 😀

    How do you make your own labna? Teach us plz?

    and Lama’s nacho salad? Yummmmm… ooh and one of its sauce ingredients is labna….! Lama can i post the recipe?

    3anooda

    Hear Hear!!!

    Eshda3wa

    Noooo invite me… o put for me a bowl of lqeemat. I won’t open my mouth i swear 😀

    Reply

  11. im with AWS on this one 😛 u get up, take the plate of sandwiches that YOU brought and give the lady some, give bu tootee some, and the rest are for you LOL
    bes like dandoon, i can’t eat at people’s houses unless im 10000% sure about whats going into their food/who’s cooking/are the clean etc etc..
    i can’t eat at anyones house.. sometimes ma akel at my grandmas house cuz i just dont feel comfortable.. i dont like 3azayem and stuff cuz i dont know who made what and how.. ma3a enni not a picky eater at ALL.. hygiene is just really really important to me. i can’t even use people’s bathrooms oo i carry dettol wipes with me wherever i go.

    so when u know of an 3azeema coming up, bring your own food or cook your own meal to share with them.. ana every friday for beit grandma i cook something to take with me lana sometimes its just 3yoosh 3yoosh 3yoosh wana broo7i abi ath3af.. so i make a yummy salad or something healthy that we can all share 🙂

    the things we do for our men! ;*** ya36eech il3afya

    Reply

  12. Posted by Daddy's Girl on November 14, 2008 at 4:15 PM

    Drama

    A friend of mine used to gather for lunch with a group of girls in one of their houses weekly. She one day finds out that some of those girls got too comfortable with each other that they started eating directly from the serving spoons in the serving plates. No problem she would just pickup the serving spoon, eat a bite, o return it back to the whole plate. Saliva and bits of old food mixed in no problem … g63

    3ogobha ma wa6we6at il bent 3ndohom … weee3….

    iL awadem are very strange when it comes to eating habbits

    Ee walla… killa 3la shan hal bu tootee… lo if it was not for him, i would have eaten my lunch that day sitting ib kil karamtee in my own place. Eating the whole platter of sanwdiches on my own…

    Reply

  13. Posted by yara4ever on November 14, 2008 at 8:40 PM

    You know what? It couldve been me writting this post 🙂 I’m exactly the same,,, waay siktay now my inlaws have this mandatory lunch zwara once a week that everyone must go to 😦 waaaay i wish its only a habba for a while and they stop doing it ;/ i dread it… ana mo bas picky about food, i’m also a slow eater and i get full quickly, and then i get hungry after a while… ya3ni ana normally i eat 5 meals a day, small portions. So when i get full quickly kila they ask ” laish ma kalaitay, or ma 3jebich or ….. ” ect u know what i mean

    Reply

  14. Posted by yara4ever on November 14, 2008 at 8:41 PM

    7adddddi i felt it when u said nearly fighting away tears when forcing urself to take a bite of something u dont want,,,, i went through that

    Reply

  15. Posted by Daddy's Girl on November 15, 2008 at 1:35 AM

    Yara

    The best thing in my marriage situation is that i am not welcome to attend zwaras 😉 the only zwara i go to was my parents but well first they are my parents house i can be tottaly my self and i can decide which day to go o which day not to. Sometimes the whole week is just one big zwara, other days, like this past month, i did not go. Kaifeee… i feel like eating lunch somewhere? You got it… Sleeping in? Even better…

    you know i have seen a zwara arrangement where people would visit on Friday for one hour between end of prayers and lunch time, y3ni Wakeup late, have a late breakfast, men pray in mousque o we pray at home, then visit for one hour without lunch “since ur already full from the late breakfast or the brunch” then at two ur free to do whatever… chalet movie lunch cinema dubai KSA for a hungry bunny… kaifich… wayed 3jbne hal arrangement!!!

    Don’t your in laws know your eating habits by now?!? They should get used to it… I like ur 5 mini portions approach…

    Reply

  16. excuse my late reply
    i was attending a cousin’s wedding in khobar !

    my problem (or perhaps my bless) is that i can’t recognize good food until someone points it out !

    it seems i have a very short term memory for taste !
    i wasn’t aware that there were others on the table… yeah it’d feel a bit awkward to be serving food for others… but again, you have the other plan, EAT before u go 🙂

    Reply

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