If s3d al-khalaf from Faker o Erb7 came up to u and asked “Whats the Capital of Switzerland?”… Do u think u will get it right?
If you thought “Shino? Easy!! Geneva of Course”… your answer is wrong! For many years i did think geneva is the capital of switzerland, up until a few years back i never knew my answer was wrong… (more…)
The most embarrising thing on earth happened to me today… i literally started crying in the middle of it and did not stop for a long time…
You see, it all started this afternoon…
I was happily snuggled in my warm blanket, enjoying my weekend, when Butootee enters the room, he had just came from outside, visiting several of his relatives, including a very sweet great aunt of his (an aunt of his mom), lets call her aunt X
so he starts talking about his visits, who said what and so on, until he, VERY CASUALLY, says the following…
Bu Tootee: Yeah and Aunt X was saying why dont you and Daddys girl visit me tonight? a couple of my neices are coming over after prayers, come with her and visit me?
Fa i said ok we will come tonight me and Daddy’s Girl
I sit upright in bed… shocked!
Daddy’s Girl: Arent we visiting 3 of your relatives TOMMOROW NIGHT?
Bu Tootee: Yeah so?
Daddy’s Girl: THIS IS MY WEEKEND! I WANT TO RELAX AT HOME! why didnt you just say we will visit you tommorow? WHY? did you even check with me first? WHat am i? a goat in this house? a slave? you would think i would go just because u SAID SO!
I am panicking! My eyebrows are a MESS and i cannot do them now (girls u understand why) … i have a half ingrown mustache, i look like a french man straight from the man with the iron mask movie! Most of my clothes are in the dry cleaners! I have absolutely no intention of visiting any one today! I wanted to have lunch, pray, and sit on my couch until it was time to wake up tommorow and maybe go to the salon in the morning… !!!!
He used to do that all the time, when his mom was alive allah yer7amha, he would suddenly wait till we are in the car to say “we are meeting mom today” or call me when im all sweaty and gross and out of the gym and say “come pick me up now, oh by the way mom is here with me come say hi!!!”
I am furious! I have told him a million and a thousand times not to do this to me. I need advance notice!!!!
He said plz dont let me go alone today. Come with me and next time i will check with u first.
Huffing and puffing after my lunch, i dress with the only decent thing left in my cupboard, she is an old lady with two of her neices whome i know and like. Nothing so fancy…
So we ride the car, as we near the womans house, we find there is a street block… of many many MANY cars… and people walking in the street, and drivers and stuff…
I tell him Butoote, do u think all these cars are headed for ur aunts house?
He says Nooooo it must be a 7usainiya near by… see all the men walking wearing black?
Ay 7sainiya!!! i see no 7sainiya nor hear anything…
He calls the aunt, nothing… calls and calls, and nothing…
We park far away, we start walking, and he points towards a young man wearing a navy jacket and getting into his car saying “see, it must be a 7sainiya and it just ended, see this guy riding his car to go home?”
2 minutes later, he is shaking hands with the guy saying to him hiiii o salaaaam… turns our he is the son of one of the neices i know…
Fa the guy says to Bu Tootee “i couldnt get inside, there are like a 100 women inside!!!” GUlp! that doent sound good does it?
Fa i tell bu tootee “7sainiya haa? Lets turn back and come tommorow!!”
He insists… NOoooooooooooooo .. wait wait… the guy goes to get his mom to inform her of our arrival, 5 minutes of us standing at the outside gates, me begging him to go, many many teenagers mulling around with plates of food around us… and then his Aunt calls us inside the garden…
Wa illa she is sstanding at the door of the house.. the garden had chairs like they do when u buy a buffet and they give you guest chairs covered in cloth, a shawerma man is standing in the corner peeling shawerma for the people around, a table has a high stack of plates on it, and women are coming inside in multiples of numbers!!!!
I wash shocked!!!
a quick glance behind Aunt X shoulder showed me that there are many many MANY women inside, making a loud buzzing noise, children are running all around us, some of them holding baloons. and not one other MALE insight!!!
Fa the aunt says hello, i greet her by kissing her, then she grabs my hands and says to bu totee “you go have ur dinner, yalla come with me”
I cling to Bu Tootee with my other hand, my hand clutching his side like a survivor at sea clings to a piece of wood! No way am i going inside ALONE! NO WAY! I do not know those people, i am not ready for 100+ woman party!!!! I am not groomed enough, i am not dressed enough, and im going to make my self look like a fool by saying hello to no one i know and ignoring the ones i do know because under this kind of stress and surprise, i go blank -it goes back to another childhood birthday memory that just came to mind, i will talk about it soon-
So i cling to bu tootee, he says to his aunt x “cant i come in?” and she says “no, all women inside without their 7ejab on, a couple are monaqabat too!” fa he very casually and stupidly says to me “ok go inside”
“Ok go inside? OK GO INSIDE?!”
Aunt X sees Bu tootees approval, and starts pulling me towards the door, i beg Bu totee in English so she doesnt understand me “Plz do not do this to me plz, plz dont leave me alone PLZ” fa she asks him whats wrong?
He says “laaa mesta7yaaa” -Naaah she is only shy!-
She says “Laa ur with me why mesta7ya? come come” o pulls me…
and she pulls me, and i dig my hand on bu tootees side, looking at him pleadingly …
and then i start crying!
Real cool. Very very cool!!!
Now aunt X is confused of course, she assures me that all inside are my family and that im part of that family “yeah right” so why am i being so shy? The sweet lady doesnt know how sweet his family is towards me. She is just from the old q8y generations when all people are equal in her eyes. and generousity is all there is.. she doesnt know what has come to the world.
Noooow… after all this humilation… after me crying infornt of all these kids and children and people coming inside and women peering out at us and women leaving… Mr. Bu Tootee kisses his aunts head and says “will pass by you tommorow i promise”…
and after assuring her for 10 times that we will pass her by tommorw, sshe says ok and lets go of my hand. i mumble a good buy and fly out of the door towards my car, tears streaming out of my face, once inside my car i start yelling at bu tootee
and crying some more
So much for respecting ur mate and trying to make him stick to his word… yeah right… he is being respected and im being humilated… how fun is that!!!
and u know, two minutes into my crying, what does he tell me?
Shall we pass by aunt B now (aunt B is aunt X’s sister who lives s nearby)…
I scream in his direction “yeah, if u dare do that, i will TELL HER EVERYTHING U DID TO ME TODAY… i will let her show you how TO TREAT UR WIFE”
Never again am i going to compromise like that. Im putting my foot down! If i have no previous knowledge about it, then I AM NOT GOING! PERIOUD!!!
Now its time to cry some more… good night
